Excuse me, are you Somebody?某某人的什么人 – by Baey Yam Keng

Translated version :

My child scored the second highest in her class for a recent Maths common test, but her achievement was undermined by a classmate to be due to her father being an MP.

I was told by a fellow MP that he made his appearance as the parent of his daughter for the very first time during her polytechnic graduation ceremony.  It was only then that her classmates knew about their relationship.

A Minister chose not to see his son off during his enlistment, but showed up only at his passing-out parade, so as to avoid any unnecessary attention during the course of his basic military training.

Just because one is related to someone, one would be seen in a different light or tasked to meet higher expectations.

It is not uncommon to find ourselves asking a doctor friend if his children would follow in his footsteps, or expect an artist friend’s children to be artistically talented too.  We can easily find a few such examples: Wee Cho Yaw and Wee Ee Chong in the banking sector, theatre doyen Kuo Pao Kun and daughter Kuo Jian Hong, Patrick and Nicholas Tse in the entertainment sphere, David Tao Sr. and David Tao in the Mandopop industry.  In politics, there are the Kennedys and the Bush father and sons in the USA, the Nehru-Ghandi family in India, the Bhuttos in Pakistan, the Aquinos in the Philippines, General Aung San and Aung San Suu Kyi in Myanmar and of course, Lee Kuan Yew and and Lee Hsien Loong in Singapore.

Whether it is nature or nurture, following the footsteps could have been a natural course of events or even a well deserved accession.  Sometimes, it is not a personal choice.  For example, the constitution would have to be changed if Prince Charles were not to inherit the throne from Queen Elizabeth II or if Maha Vajiralongkorn were not coronated following Thai King Bhumibol Adulyadej’s reign. Being born into royalty brings with it wealth and luxury, but sometimes life is far from being a bed of roses when there are family disputes, infightings, and even usurpation.

I told my child, “You do not have tuition, therefore you deserve every mark you have earned yourself.  Others may not realize it, but I am aware and more importantly, you know what you have put in.  You should be proud of yourself and not be bothered by what others say.  On the other hand, you cannot be conceited but continue to be diligent.  Due to my public role, there is more public interest and scrutiny.  Your classmate may not necessarily understand what I do, but I am sure his comments meant no malice. It is crucial that you do not take things for granted or feel privileged in any way just because your father is an MP.  On the contrary, there are higher expectations of you precisely because you are the child of an MP.  As long as you do your best according to your conscience, there is no need for any self-imposed pressure.  Be courageous enough to own up to any wrongdoing, for every mistake we make will prove to be a learning experience.  In this common test, you had told your teacher she had given you an extra half mark.  I am proud of your honesty.  We should not take credit if we have not put in the effort.  As long as you commit yourself to your tasks, what you learn in the process and gain from the results are yours to keep, forever.” 

MyPaper, 13 March 2012

<我报》13-3-2012
炎下之意(专栏)文/马炎庆

某某人的什么人 

我孩子最近的数学统一测验考得了全班第二高分。可是,有一位同学却在班上说他能取得这样的成绩,是因为他的爸爸是议员!

一位国会同僚告诉我他出席女儿理工学院毕业典礼的时候,才是他第一次以家长的身份露面,女儿的同学那时才知道他们之间的关系。

一名部长在儿子服兵役入伍时,坚持不去送他,等到他基本军训后才出席结业典礼,好让儿子低调完成军训。

很自然的,就因为某某人是某某人的什么人,大家就会另眼相看,或有所期待。

我们很自然会问当医生的朋友,他们的孩子会不会也行医,或是艺术家朋友,他们的孩子是否有这方面的天分。这些”like father like son”的例子不少:银行界的黄祖耀和黄一宗、戏剧界的郭宝昆和郭践红、演艺界的谢贤和谢霆峰、歌唱界的陶大伟和陶喆。国际政界的就有美国的肯尼迪家族和布什父子、印度的尼赫鲁、英迪拉和拉吉夫甘地、巴基斯坦的佐勒菲卡尔和贝娜姬布托、菲律宾的贝尼格诺阿奎诺、科拉桑和诺诺阿奎诺、缅甸的翁山将军和翁山淑枝,和新加坡的李光耀和李显龙。

无论是耳濡目染也好,或是基因遗传也好,子承父业有时顺其自然,有时众望所归,有时却逼不得已,毫无选择。例如皇位的继承,如果英女王伊丽莎白不传位给查尔斯太子,或泰王普密蓬不传位给哇栖拉隆功王储,还得修改宪法。出生皇室家族,虽然可以享尽荣华富贵,但是有时候却身不由己。更悲凉的是自己家人明争暗斗,夺取皇位,或是大势所趋,成为末代皇帝,潦倒终身。

  • 我跟孩子说:
    你没有补习老师,你的数学成绩是你用功努力,靠自己得来的。别人不知道,爸爸看得到,你自己也最清楚。你应该引以为豪,不要在乎别人说什么。不过,你也不可以因为这次考得不错就骄傲自满,还是得继续努力。爸爸因为工作性质,言行举止会比较引人注意。同学对爸爸的工作可能不了解,他只是随口讲讲,没有什么恶意。重要的是,你不要以为你是议员的孩子,而自以为是。可是,就因为你是议员的孩子,别人反而对你会有更高的要求。但你不要给自己太大的压力,只要你站得正,走得直,凡事尽力而为,你将问心无愧。
    如果做错了,要勇于承认改过,从中学习。你的数学统一测验发现老师多给了你半分,你诚实地告诉老师,这么做是对的。不是你应得的东西,不要去占有。只要你用心去做你该做的事,过程的经历和取得的收获,将会永远属于你。

 

Source :   Baey Yam Keng

https://www.facebook.com/notes/baey-yam-keng/%E6%9F%90%E6%9F%90%E4%BA%BA%E7%9A%84%E4%BB%80%E4%B9%88%E4%BA%BA/10150636068764601

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